Late Christmas

What do you reckon to my chances of fooling all my family and friends into thinking that Christmas is actually a few days later next year?

So I can, urm, do all my shopping in the sales?

I didn't get all that much cool stuff for Christmas - the LOML got me some nice things, but the best of the rest was the shiny palmcorder that I bought for myself. I got money, that's always welcome, but maybe a bit unimaginative. Am I being ungrateful?

My brother wins the shittest Christmas present prize for the eleventy-twelveth year straight. To add to previous years' hand-painted brace of enamel mugs, a la narrowboat-gypsy-chic stylee, which can't be put in the dishwasher and burn the crap out of your hand if you actually put a hot drink in them; a plastic modular tool shelf out of a catalogue (probably Pikeys-R-Us, or Sad-Act-With-No-Life-Savings-Club 1978) which was a lump of grey and red plastic with odd shaped holes in it; a hardback book on Monster Trucks, aimed at an educationally subnormal fourteen year old, which I received in my thirties; we can now add a 'build-your-own-cardboard-puzzle-skyscraper-lamp'. Which is a vaguely jigsawy-construction square carboard box about two feet high with pictures of four different skyscrapers on the sides. With a lamp socket in the bottom (bulb not included). Which is just what a civilised, erudite, cultured, educated, professional* forty year old father of two** had put just right at the top of his list from Santa.

For fuck's sake. And I had to smile and say oh how lovely we'll have fun making that up and once it's finished it'll be so useful as well how thoughtful.

The LOML got a infinity reflecting tealight set. Which is four tealights in a stand with a wonky mirror so it looks like a line of tealights going on for ever. If you bend right down to look into it. I think it might be in the dustbin already.

So, all in all, I was delighted when the LOML announced that she was going with her chums to Next at half four in the morning. I was still in bed, with a coffee, when she got back and we had Chrstmas all over again. Five pairs of jeans (only two going back) three smart stripey shirts to be worn untucked in a slightly taller Richard Hammond stylee, pants, socks, tank top (which are apparently trendy again, had you heard?) jumper. Ace. Better than the day itself.

And then we had a morning without the kids taking a few bits back to Marks' and I managed to get a couple of fab jumpers in the surfy snowboardy shop sales. They're ace too. They'll be brilliant for wearing around the resort when we go skiing.

We're going skiing in a couple of weeks. Did I mention? I'm dead excited. I reserve the right to mention this again, by the way. Probably lots. And lots.



*This is of course all a matter of opinion. It's my opinion and I'm right. Shut up.
**This bit is a matter of fact, however. Unfortunately.