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February 23, 2006

What is it with women and clothes?

"Can I go shopping this evening?" The LOML looks at me expectantly from under her lashes. This evening is one of the kids' nights for cubs or gym or something.
"Of course.What for?"
"I need something for your cousin's wedding."
"Which is in, uh, May ... hadn't you better wait until the spring stuff's in the shops?"
"Oh no, its okay, all the spring stuff's in now."
"Right. Um. Of course you can, love. I'll just take Child One to the supermarket while Child Two's at her club, shall I?"
"He likes it. He calls it 'being Daddy's little helper'."

In the face of indomitable argument, I succumb.

Later, when I'm slobbed out knackered on the sofa, the shopping put away, both kids in bed, the LOML returns. She commences a mini fashion show.

"I bought this skirt, look, it wasn't at all what I was looking for but I thought it'd be really good, it was only forty quid, and I thought I'd wear this new wrap top with it with one of these new vests underneath, and my black shoes. What do you think?"

I make a Fatal Mistake. I fail to gush on about how wonderful it all is, largely because it's the middle of MacIntyre's Sting on telly, and they're about to do a surprise arrest on a bail dodger who thinks he's won a car.

"You don't like it. Right, I'll take it all back."
"Mmmmmf. What, sorry? No, no. I do like it, really I do. You look lovely."
"No, no, you're right, I'll take it back. It's not smart enough. All your cousin's doctor friends are all going to be wearing little designer spring dresses, aren't they. I'll find something else."

She goes on. I go on right back. I persuade her that it's fine, really, she'll look lovely. She finally agrees that the one top and skirt are suitable. The other top can go back, it's a bit old on her, and the vests need to be a different size. Compromise finally negotiated, we go to bed.

I'm just nodding off, when:

"You know, I think I will take that skirt back. I mean, it was forty quid. I'm sure I can do better. I'll go and have another look."

She promptly goes to sleep. I spend an interesting hour or two looking at the ceiling.

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