Back
I'm back. Huzzah. Welcome to Monday morning.
I've been skiing, did I mention?
It was a damn good holiday, to be fair. There's nothing quite like the entertainment of watching a seven-year-old in a bright yellow helmet hurtling down the middle of a piste in a full racing crouch, cutting right across the front of a group of slightly-overweight-and-a-bit-mannish middle-aged German women so that they all crash into each other and fall over. Shadenfreude.* That'll teach them to leave their towels all over the loungers by the pool so no-one else can sit on them. I know that this is a cliche of Stan Boardman-like dimensions, but it really is true. They really did. And the pool was indoors, with a plastic curtain to an outside bit, before anyone gets clever.
The whole Crisis family returned with no significant injuries. *breathes big sigh of relief*.
We had all the usual s-things. S-un, s-now, s-kiing, s-ledging, s-hocolate s-haud (this is phonetic and therefore counts, ok?). All except the other one, s-??**. We were too knackered.
I took some action video on the camera of me skiing down behind the LOML. It's all whooshy noises and lurching views of the sky, to be honest. But you can make out the LOML falling over, which is quite funny. You can hear me laughing quite loudly on the soundtrack. Especially as it was just about the only time she fell over all week, and I got it on film. I'd post it up here but you'd be able to identify me from it, so I can't. You'll just have to take my word for it.
Anyway, I've come back and calculated that I am now in the final stages of crisis-countdown. By my calculations, today is Crisis minus 99 days and counting. Though I reserve the right to randomly add or remove a day later if my maths is off, which it might be. Anyway, expect more reviews of what-might-have-been and other such maudlin talk as the countdown numbers decrease.
*This is probably mis-spelled. Never mind.
**You're expecting me to put 's-kating, what did you think I meant?' or something witty here. But no, I meant sex. We really were too knackered. Except for once.
I've been skiing, did I mention?
It was a damn good holiday, to be fair. There's nothing quite like the entertainment of watching a seven-year-old in a bright yellow helmet hurtling down the middle of a piste in a full racing crouch, cutting right across the front of a group of slightly-overweight-and-a-bit-mannish middle-aged German women so that they all crash into each other and fall over. Shadenfreude.* That'll teach them to leave their towels all over the loungers by the pool so no-one else can sit on them. I know that this is a cliche of Stan Boardman-like dimensions, but it really is true. They really did. And the pool was indoors, with a plastic curtain to an outside bit, before anyone gets clever.
The whole Crisis family returned with no significant injuries. *breathes big sigh of relief*.
We had all the usual s-things. S-un, s-now, s-kiing, s-ledging, s-hocolate s-haud (this is phonetic and therefore counts, ok?). All except the other one, s-??**. We were too knackered.
I took some action video on the camera of me skiing down behind the LOML. It's all whooshy noises and lurching views of the sky, to be honest. But you can make out the LOML falling over, which is quite funny. You can hear me laughing quite loudly on the soundtrack. Especially as it was just about the only time she fell over all week, and I got it on film. I'd post it up here but you'd be able to identify me from it, so I can't. You'll just have to take my word for it.
Anyway, I've come back and calculated that I am now in the final stages of crisis-countdown. By my calculations, today is Crisis minus 99 days and counting. Though I reserve the right to randomly add or remove a day later if my maths is off, which it might be. Anyway, expect more reviews of what-might-have-been and other such maudlin talk as the countdown numbers decrease.
*This is probably mis-spelled. Never mind.
**You're expecting me to put 's-kating, what did you think I meant?' or something witty here. But no, I meant sex. We really were too knackered. Except for once.
crisis countdown: 99 days
posted by crisiswhatcrisis at
10:03 am
1 Comments:
this countdown crisis thing is a little like ten green bottles sitting on the wall, only with another zero on the end
By
I, Like The View, at 9:16 am
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