View through my window

July 07, 2006

No, no, thank you

To Sainsbury's, killing time while yet another child activity takes place.

In the entrance lobby: "Thank you for not smoking". On a sign. On the wall. No problem, I think, I wasn't going to anyway.

Later: "Thank you for not taking your trolley beyond this point". I don't know about you, but I don't feel the need to take my trolley out of the side of the carpark and down to the canal. My car's this way. Like, uh, no problem, but I really wasn't going to.

I wonder where this will lead. What else are we going to be thanked for not doing? Sainsbury's have surely missed a trick here. Thank you for not bellowing gynaecological obscenities at the Delicatessen staff. Thank you for not curling one down in the middle of the oils, vinegars, and sauces aisle. Thank you for not shooting the acne-raddled checkout freak in the face. I wasn't going to do any of these things, either. Well, probably not.

It's the same thinking as "have a nice day" and the execrable "missing you already" that you get subjected to in shops in the States. More evidence of the creeping Americanisation of Britain. When was the last time you heard a film called a film, not a movie? And it's 'disc' and 'programme', while we're at it. Short step to alooominum and diapers from there. I caught Child One talking about a Royal Navy Loootenant the other day. I made him repeat Lef! Lef! Lef! Lieutenant! for a day and a half non-stop. That'll learn him.

If we ever get to the point where this is so widespread that it becomes the norm I will be forced to emigrate to the nearest slightly left-leaning, temperate, English-speaking country that is not in North America. Which may actually be New Zealand, and therefore a bit of an also-ran in the interesting people stakes, but a clear odds-on favourite in the outdoor scenery handicap.

Chuck some more lamb on the barbie, Bruce.

9 Comments:

  • Really enjoy your journal. My Mum says aluminium. I`m a Canadian but I hate "have a nice day" too! :) I do wish we would have kept more of our English heritage here. There`s still some, but it`s getting lost a bit.

    By Blogger Tea & Margaritas in My Garden, at 11:01 am  

  • Hi T&M and welcome.

    You should've just stayed a colony and been done with it. Perhaps. Maybe the French would have had something to say about that, though. 'Merde', possibly. I'm afraid the English cottagey thing is almost gone, except in the bits of country round the edges. We all want to live in indentical ticky-tacky boxes on indentical estates surrounding identical towns, apparently.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 2:13 pm  

  • I've always wondered why lieutenant is pronounced leftentant.

    But I quite like aloominum...it reminds me of antirrhinerums.

    By Blogger mig bardsley, at 2:12 am  

  • Antirrhinerums? Are they the same as snapperdragons?

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 9:17 am  

  • you see, should just stick to sunflowers

    can't go wrong with sunflowers

    (excpet the first time I typred it, it came oot as sunflooers)

    By Blogger I, like the view, at 11:24 am  

  • Is "trolly" a cute UK term for a car, or a baby carriage? Or ... something else?

    Can you buy me a beer? I'm thirsty. LOL

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:42 pm  

  • Nukulah!


    'Nuff sed

    By Anonymous Stu Savory, at 3:13 pm  

  • Hey, I've come back and found 2 new people. Hi chaps.

    Lisa, a trolley is what you'd call a shopping cart. And your beer's on the bar.

    Stu, I so agree. Repeat after me: "new-clee-ar, new-clee-ar ..."

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 12:29 pm  

  • I don't think you'll be able to escape Americanisation in New Zealand- or anywhere for that matter. I hear from a reputable source that there is a Starbucks in Tibet now.

    I'd advise the moon, except there is a stars and stripes beside the sea of tranquility. And its not very warm. And there's not a breathable atmosphere.

    Death will be no release either- Hell is going to be packed with Americans. I bet there's a huge Starbucks, too.

    Have a good day now, y'hear?

    By Blogger Levi, at 12:40 pm  

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