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March 20, 2006

Searchers

I know it's a perennial blog subject, but I am unable to resist.

So, I hope whomever came to me via the Google search "porridge change colour of poo" found what they were looking for. Welcome, indeed. I hope finding me was worth wading through several hundred other entries first. I mean, I got bored after six hundred or so. But you persevered. Well done. I noticed, also, how many blogs appear above me on the list. Including four that I read regularly. I'm not saying whom. You will have to search yourselves; my lips are sealed.

And welcome, welcome, too, to the MSN searcher for "farm fucking Barbados". I hope your long search, too, was worthwhile. Come again, do.

Feel free to comment on your weirdest search result entry. I am sure I am not alone. I may even award a virtual prize for the best if I am caused to laugh out loud.

19 Comments:

  • how exactly do u find out this info? ive seen peeps blog about it and its bugging me now!

    By Blogger cookie monster, at 12:35 am  

  • Cookie monster - most of the blog tracking packages out there like Statcounter and Sitemeter can tell you where the person viewing your blog came from.

    By Blogger Universal Soldier, at 7:37 am  

  • Cookiemonster, welcome. What US said. Click on the little sitemeter thing on my sidebar and it'll take you to their homepage. You can download some html into your template for one of your own. When I click on mine, it takes me to my private stats page including list of referrals - which shows search engine and search criteria. Hours of fun, honest.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 10:40 am  

  • US: can't believe you haven't had some weird ones, with your tank fightingy poo hole-diggingy content. Share, go on.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 10:42 am  

  • Oh, duh. Perhaps if you look at it you get my stats too. I thought that was just me. Go to the Home tag on there instead for your own meter.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 11:29 am  

  • i've had one today from google for "grunting on the toilet". makes a change from "pussycat dolls tranny" and "pigeons bicarbonate explode", i suppose...

    By Blogger surly girl, at 1:00 pm  

  • I get 'Anthony Worrell Thompson Naked' more than would normally be considered normal.

    By Blogger JonnyB, at 3:00 pm  

  • also on the chef theme, rather dully, I have been visted five times today by someone looking for variations on "Dean Digger Masterchef" with or without "Goes Large". Presumably this is a side order.
    In a general plea, may I ask people to use far ruder and more disgusting terms to find me?

    *Note to self: post absolute filth and your search terms will become much more interesting*

    OK, more swearing and lewd references will be forthcoming.

    By Blogger the Beep, at 4:41 pm  

  • I love this topic. It never ceases to amaze me what people out there are typing into search engines. I'm definitely going to drop in some weird stuff and see if people look for it.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 9:12 am  

  • hey beep - what about that time you were writing about writing about vaginal discharge and got some really religious guy commenting on your site?

    (ooh, sorry Crisis for my use of your comment string to have a converse with beep) (but it is kinda relevant!)

    what I don't understand though, is when I experimentally entered this:

    "Housework. This place is a shit hole, and we've people coming."

    from one of your december posts, how come Google didn't zoom me straight back into your blog?

    wv: too-much-time-on-my-hands

    actually, my place is a bit of a shit-tip too, so I'm off to do some housework myself. . .

    *yeah-right*

    By Blogger don't chase it, at 9:48 am  

  • I've done a few experimental searches for myself (well, there has to some way in middle age...) and used terms that I know are in my posts... nothing, de nada, niente etc. Neither in blogger's own search nor at google.
    I don't remember the weird one after the smell vag post (i remember the post). But those are surely the sort of terms that will help me rise to the top. Like a poo in a bucket of water.

    float, float on.

    I'll drifter way then

    By Blogger the Beep, at 10:43 am  

  • these just in:

    "motorised sofa"
    "correct way to pronounce hormones"

    and my personal favourite:

    "never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die"

    woo!

    By Blogger surly girl, at 10:47 am  

  • Motorised sofa, vaginal discharge, Digger Dean. Not three phrases you'd expect to see in the same sentence.

    Surly's going to win if no-one else can come up with anything better.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 12:17 pm  

  • Ahem.

    Small announcement. I have today received two new searches:
    "Yummy mummies in cornwall" (which I quite like. Both cornwal and ... oh you KNOW))
    and
    "Discreet chatline for older ladies"

    Please. Calm down. I can't hear myself think above all that laughing.

    By Blogger the Beep, at 4:52 pm  

  • Oh dear, I think you've been found out. Pass the Sanatogen.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 1:34 pm  

  • I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm on the first page of 'yellow tomato chutney recipes'.

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 1:36 pm  

  • Oh, what a relief!

    Now I'm laughing.

    Although I'm trying to disguise the relief element

    By Blogger the Beep, at 1:08 pm  

  • yeah! tomato chutney recipes!!

    yellow ones even;

    (wow - your crop is coming in early)

    I find the trick is to use a clear vinegar (as opposed to the brown stuff) and a white sugar (I use the T&L preserving sugar), that way the syrup of the chutney stays clear and everyone knows what colour tomatoes you used. . .

    don't forget to add lots interesting bits: ginger strips, pine nuts, large yellow sultanas, coriander seeds, actually I usually just make it up as I go along and don't bother with the recipe

    (do you kilner jars and if so do you buy new rubber seals each time, or re-use the old ones?)

    god, how dull, I could go about chutney for bloody ages - in fact I think I have

    SORRY

    By Blogger don't chase it, at 4:39 pm  

  • I haven't even got any seeds planted yet! I must have been going on about it recently and I'm still on the list.

    I will share recipes at the time!

    By Blogger crisiswhatcrisis, at 6:47 pm  

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