Why did we have them?

"I mean, really: why did we? We could go to the pub when we want, watch the news rather than Yu-Gi-Oh, not spend every evening taxiing from cubs to gymnastics to wherever, not worry about what's going to be in school reports ... I could go on."

"I thought you already were."

"Seriously. I wonder if it was all worth it sometimes, I really do."

Child Two marches into the room, presciently. She waited her moment and came in just in time to head off at the pass my evil plan to bury them both under the patio. She's cleverer than she should be for a seven year old.

"Daaaaaad, why did Paige/Megan/ Natasha/Talia get her gym badge five and I didn't when I'm a squillion times better than her?"

I divert this Typical Difficult Question in an experienced-parenty way by initiating a discussion about just how much a squillion is. We decide in the end it's more than a zillion but less than a gazillion. The LOML looks on admiringly. Well, I imagine that's what her expression indicates.

Child Two leaves and I go back to musing on something Mrs no-nickname-yet Ed said the other night, while drunk: what if the okey-cokey really is what it's all about?